Bringing more light to each day...

Those of you who know me know that swimming is one of my great loves in life. Seizures ripped that love away from me. No more swimming with my family in the lake, no more wakeboarding, no more swimming laps... The possibility of drowning is just to great when seizures aren't under control. Painful, but understandable. After 2 years of being seizure free, I hit the water Tuesday. Putting on my suit, cap, and goggles filled me with so much anticipation! I dove into the water and a sense of peace washed over me. As I swam, looking at the black line along the bottom of the pool, hitting the wall and kicking off, I remembered why I loved it so much. The sound of the water, the solitude, the feeling of my arms running through the water, even sucking wind at the end of a few laps...it all made me feel like another small part of me had returned. I left the pool, got into my car, and cried. Baby steps. I will overcome.

The Battle Continues...

It has been almost 2 years since my last cluster of seizures. TWO YEARS!! I continue to go about each day taking my medication and living my life "normally". I do all of the things that are in my job description as "wife and mother" (you know, taxi driver, catechist, personal shopper, personal chef, housekeeper, bookkeeper, tutor, disciplinarian, wardrobe assistant, school advocate, etc.), along with working my home based business, AND I LOVE IT. However, the cold hard fact is that I have epilepsy. One seizure could change everything for me. It's easy to take these past 2 years for granted, to live like I don't have epilepsy. Then BAM! I have a crazy experience that brings it all to light. I have taken advantage of my good health. I know I am doing the right thing by living a "normal" life, by not allowing epilepsy to stop me from doing the things I love. But, I must also respect this unpredictable nuisance called epilepsy. The biggest challenge is not having control, not knowing when it will strike. Two years with little to no symptoms and it comes on out of the blue. Who does this epilepsy character think it is?? I am not about to curl up in a ball and allow it to take me under. I refuse. I will continue to fight. I will continue to be a mother and a wife and to live the life I have been blessed with. I thank God for my incredible family and supportive friends, and for the gift of His presence in my life. Where would I be without Him? Probably curled up in a ball somewhere...

Believe in yourself and others will too!

I have struggled in the past few years to let go of my concerns about the opinions of others. What do people think of epilepsy? Will they think I'm weird? Will they notice that I'm different? I've struggled with confidence in many aspects of my life because of self-doubt. BUT, I'm finally realizing that people are going to react to me as the person that I am, the person I believe myself to be. If I don't believe in myself and my ability to beat epilepsy or teach math and science, or build my business...no one else will believe in me either. They will see my lack of confidence and take that as lack of skill, lack of ability to accomplish what I'm trying to do. Opportunities will continue to escape me until I learn to believe in myself so that others can do the same. I am finally learning this and guess what....the doors are opening for me. Huh...what do you know?? Believe in yourself, my friend. It will change your life!

Making It Happen

The big question for me is always..."how do I make it all work?". Being a wife and a mom is a big job. Everyone knows that. But in order to bring financial and time freedom to my family there have to be sacrifices. Sometimes the floor doesn't get mopped when it's supposed to. Some weeks we eat a lot of leftovers! Most of the laundry gets done in one day instead of throughout the week. Sometimes my time in the car transporting the kids to activities takes time away from my business. The key is to stay focused on the true reasons for doing what I do. I spend time taking care of my family because I love them dearly. I spend time on my business for the same reason- I love my family dearly. With epilepsy I also have to take my health into consideration in everything I do. Fatigue can set me back in a BIG way, and unfortunately that is a permanent part of my life. But I have to make it all work. I can see the results in my business already and I am determined to make it happen! It's all about balance and bringing my true "why" into focus.

Lay It Down

Sometimes we have to let go, to give control to HIM. Now more than ever I am realizing this. After a big move for our family and months of being sad and homesick and making excuses for the lack of activity in my business, I have decided to let go of it all and push forward. Our amazing company has just launched some incredible changes and I want to be a part of the inevitable growth! Today is the day. I'm laying it down, leaving it behind me, and moving ahead.....are you coming with me?

Getting Caught Up With Life

It has been almost a year since I last posted. WOW! Time flies. We have been through a lot this past year and I let the time get away from me. We are in a period of transition in our lives, one that has been happening for the past 3 years, I guess. Sometimes we have to take a break and get caught up with life. To me that has meant spending time with my children, working on getting my health back to normal, supporting my husband in his business ventures, and getting back in touch with my family and friends. I discovered a wonderful tool for keeping in touch (Send Out Cards-www.sendoutcards.com/jenski), and I have had a great time getting familiar with that system. What a great idea! We have had some eye-opening events with our family, causing us to reflect on time spent with them, and how short life can be (a valuable lesson we learned thanks to my epilepsy diagnosis). Anyhow, I hope you have all been well, and are taking advantage of all of the opportunities to "get caught up with life". Take the time, before it flies by...

The Joys In Life

Being able to drive again has given me so much appreciation for so many of the things we take for granted everyday. Not just being able to go to the grocery store by myself, or drive my kids to school. There are things like taking my daughter to dance and watching her do what she loves. Driving to my kids' school and helping in their classrooms, something I wouldn't be able to do if I couldn't drive. Watching my son play football on the playground this morning with pure joy on his face, I drove out of the parking lot with tears streaming down my cheeks. I was actually able to drive to the store and buy an anniversary card for my wonderful husband. There are so many things that I couldn't do before, and my eyes have been opened to the little joys in life. They are present every day. You just have to open your eyes to see them.